would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
