I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
