Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
