I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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