if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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