Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We need to rekindle our bromance
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
