She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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