There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize