I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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