It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
