it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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