Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
