dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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