Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
