How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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