forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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