Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
