I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's blow job season.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
