Welp...herpes.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
