I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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