On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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