Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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