it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
