okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
