was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
