I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
