do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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