ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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