so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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