He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
