I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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