Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
