I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
