thus making me awesome and them whores
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
