He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
