you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
