and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she peed on how many people?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize