explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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