I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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