There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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