This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
smell my finger.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
