Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize