we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
