Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
