the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize