somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
