stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
