Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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