but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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