I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
