i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
pray to the hookup gods
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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