THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
