it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
