watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
