Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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