I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
