Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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