You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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