See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize